Personal Musings..

Intuitively, I know when I need to time-out for a while and allow myself to come closer to what is natural and effortless for me to participate in, without simultaneously dragging my heels along the pavement to sustain the more pragmatic elements of life centered around the idea of security engaging in something my heart lacks a zest for.

I have been extremely lucky with the support network I have around me, the one’s closest to me understand my heart and all it yearns for and encourage me to breath easy. I am eternally grateful for those people. I am particularly close to my grandma, she has allowed my expression to be effortless in her presence and reminded me how simple life can be. She has shown me what it means to be completely vulnerable, to do away with perfection and to acknowledge the sensitive aspects within my soul. My moments with her are special and when I lose sight of that, if my world becomes a little too crowded I simultaneously lose a huge source of meaning from my experience.

I thrive in very visceral relationships that mutually express the soul of me and another, the differences we share and the love that reconciles those differences through deep understanding.

This year has been profound, I am finding the things I have been searching for all along. People showing up in my life at just the right time and reflecting to me what I have always been longing to observe. I feel worthy of the love I receive and sincere in the love I share which feels authentic to my soul. I am finding myself in positions I now have the awareness to experience in gratitude. I feel that for the first moments in my life I am in the game, not merely a spectator but someone who can count on my own uniqueness to thrive and birth my visions into reality. It is a gift we are all born with but I feel sometimes it takes some time to actualize due to the stories we have been telling ourselves from childhood. This has been my experience, it has taken an incredibly long time to understand that I am indispensable and I have something to give to the world.